i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Randomize
