i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
Randomize
