Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
Randomize