Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
Randomize
