you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Randomize
