he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
Randomize
