How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
