Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
Randomize
