U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
Randomize
