Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
Sorry my hands just texted you
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
Randomize
