Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
Randomize
