Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
Randomize
