Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
Randomize
