watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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