If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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