Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
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