That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
Randomize
