do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
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