is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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