She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
Randomize
