my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
Randomize
