Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
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