why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
Randomize
