U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
