My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
Randomize
