I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
Randomize
