the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
