Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
Randomize
