Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
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