we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
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