Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
