I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
We smell like vodka and hangover
Randomize
