To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
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