I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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