i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
