I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
Randomize
