you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity�
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
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