You're earring is so big in my mouth
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
