who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
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