Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
Just invented taco cereal.
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
Randomize
