so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
Randomize
