she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
Randomize
