I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
Randomize
