its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
Randomize
