Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
Send help, water and tortillas.
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Randomize
