so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
Randomize
