It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
How naked do you want me to be?
Randomize
