Say something about gay babies.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
