why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
Randomize
