3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
