I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
We had to coat check the pizza.
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
Randomize
