Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
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