"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
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